X-Man

Name:	X-Man
Company:	Universal Gamex
Model #:	1005
Programmer:	H.K. Poon
Year:	1983
Released?	Yes
Notes:	Universal Gamex may have been a division of Data Age

Not to be confused with the Marvel comic super heroes, X-Man was a unique Adult 2600 game by Universal Gamex.  If you've never heard of Universal Gamex before, it's probably because X-Man was the only game this small company put out.  As it turns out Universal Gamex may have actually been a division of Data Age, who was apparently too ashamed to put this game out under their own label.  After seeing how incredibly bad it is, they probably made the right decision...

It's a known fact that pornography rarely makes for good game subject matter and X-Man is no exception.  The game (if you can call it that) consists of two phases.  The first phase takes place in a blocky maze, where our well endowed hero must make his way to the door in the center.  Of course it wouldn't be much of a game without some kind of obstacles.  Trying to prevent you from making it to the door are deadly teeth, scissors, and (gasp) crabs!  If one of these objects touches you, you'll lose a life, so avoid them at all costs.  Unfortunately this is where the game begins to fall apart, avoiding these enemies is nearly impossible since there are very few places to hide.  The maze screen quickly becomes an exercise in frustration, and is absolutely no fun whatsoever...

The second phase of the game is what the people who bought the game were really after, hard core 8-bit porn!  Well not really, but as close as the 2600 ever got to hard core porn anyway.  This phase of the game features a man and a woman (the Republicans would be so proud), 'Doing the Deed'.  In a somewhat disturbing way, the game attempts so simulate sex by having the player wiggle the joystick back and forth as fast as they can in an attempt to 'Increase Her Pleasure'.  After a few rounds of this, you are returned to the maze and must once again make the long journey back to the door.

X-Man is a prime example of what can go wrong with gaming.  Much like Mystique and Playaround, Universal Gamex attempted to go for the oh so lucrative pervert market.  In the end very few people actually saw X-Man as it was only sold behind the counter at 'certain' stores whose customers were move interested in 'self play' rather than gaming.  This is just as well as I wouldn't wish this game on anyone...

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